the importance of the 'get away'...

@TaliaStudio

Soooooo after dropping Hannah off at her daycare-“school” last Friday, I rushed to the store through the beautiful, needed rain pour to purchase a pound of clams for the broth recommended to me by my near and dear Pilipino friend/soul sister, Talia. Oh how I love her. Another ‘secret’ Manila family recipe to boost-up the milk. Clams, a yellow onion for the recipe, and a side-six pack of Guinness and I’m sure the cashier at the checkout line was only slightly confused by the early-morning strange combo. I was tempted to tell him “ya know, just workin’ on my milk-supply” until I realized that may be more than he really cared to know.

I’ll back track to fill you in on the sad, sad moment that Adelynn first refused to nurse once we were back from our trip. It literally devastated me. She’s eight months old and the goal was to nurse, at the very least, until a year. I went to fourteen months with Hannah (@ three months pregnant with Adelynn) and only had to stop because my doctor was afraid I’d miscarry again. I definitely was not ready to stop and even went through a mini three-day depression once I had.

Between breastfeeding and pregnancy hormones, I was emotionally all over the place. I still remember the awful day. Uncontrollable tears, vomiting (pregnancy related) and difficulty breathing, simultaneously knowing that Hannah felt my pain and couldn’t do anything but cry too as she kept wanting to be held. I even called David in the middle of his meeting, begging him to come home. Truly, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like it and I’m so glad it passed as quickly as it did.

Still, even back then at just three months pregnant with baby number two, I knew I wanted to go even longer. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE breastfeeding. And fortunately, since five days ago when I first got to work at it, I am finally seeing the light. My mother in law had made a great point a couple days in: “It took you four days to lose it, you can’t stress after one” and she was totally right. Ad is now getting at least two ‘solid’ full nursings a day with little snacks here and there every time I attempt putting her on. If she refuses because the letdown is taking too long, then I just hop right back on the pump.

And I’m sure it was a combination of my milk having taken a hit while being away drinking alcohol of all things and the fact that she got used to a bottle with a faster flow. Nevertheless, this mama has not and will not give up without a fight, even if my nipples have to fall off from all the pumping! Yes, I said it! Although I painfully went through the last bag of stored breastmilk four days ago, I’m relieved that she has been content with the amount she’s received (which has most likely been enough) and the supplemental combo of hemp-coconut-almond milk, all the while as we continuously work on getting it completely back to normal. 

The week has consisted of MilkyMomma up the wazoo chased down with extra potent raw ginger shakes in the morning, lots of water and Mother’s Milk Tea, pumping, one steamy hot bowl of oatmeal after the next… after the next….a Guinness here and there, lactation cookies, annnnd that Clam broth all cherried off with LOTS of prayer.

And if you couldn’t tell by now, I’ve never exactly shied away from the “TMI” on this topic. It’s as if there is some internal voice and milky-‘force’ within me compelling me at all times to talk about it…wherever and to whomever I please. Last week during our get away to Palm Beach on hub’s annual company “President’s Retreat” was no exception. At the welcome ceremony we made our rounds catching up with everyone we hadn’t seen in a year as I couldn’t help but continue to look down at my explosive, tingling boob (the only one I nurse from) and attempt to excuse myself to the restroom every half hour with ‘the disclaimer’. 

At one point I was reminded by a man on the trip that in Hawaii (the year before) he’d also learned a whole lot more than he could’ve “bargained for” about lactation. It was in that moment I thought to myself “Naomi, lay off the boobie talk” and I can honestly say I did my best with a limited version of ‘TMI’ throughout the rest of the trip.

Why this is so difficult for me? God only knows.  And “why” was my boob explosive you’re wondering?

Of ALL things I could’ve possibly failed to remember to pack---- “Ohhhhh NOOOoooooooooo, my PUMP!!!” The realization literally hit me like a ton of bricks on my chest while on the phone with my sister during our Houston layover heading to Palm Beach. From there I knew my best bet would be to try hand expressing in the toilet of the bathroom until we arrived and could make it to a Target for another hand held one. And since we didn’t have much time to get ready for the welcome ceremony, figured we’d venture out as soon as it was over.

We inevitably did….just up the street from our hotel, a whole $50 dollar car service ride later! Two miles there, two miles back. We literally couldn’t believe our ears. Palm Beach (at least the area we were) is full of very old money and thank God these trips are totally funded by the company or we’d be breaking into our retirement fund by now! A medium sized garden salad at the hotel we stayed at was $22…TWENTY TWO DOLLARS!!!

But I am happy to be back with all freedom to vent on this blog to other mommas! Who would’ve thought the ‘MilkyMomma’ herself would be in such a predicament? I sure didn’t. Talk about arrogant! This has been a humbling experience to say the least. In fact, at the formal dinner on the last night of the trip I was talking to another woman who told me that her third child (their last) whom she had every intention of nursing the longest, had weaned himself at eight months old totally out of the blue, literally refusing to nurse. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised since I’ve heard this same story before, but for some reason it still baffles me. And worried me a little if I’m being honest. Why so suddenly right? THANKFULLY the skies are looking blue here annnnd….

In other news, I must say that getting away with David was exactly what we needed in our lives at this point in the year. Between the thousand and one birthday celebrations among friends and family, add to that the children of friends, April and May are loaded. On the morning of our scheduled canoeing activity we even cancelled just so we could sleep in until 11:30 am like we had the day before, followed up with some lazy lounging at the pool and beach all day literally…doing nothing. 

Content just to be together, hub had his ear plugs in listening to music on Pandora, while I got halfway through the book I brought: “Autobiography of a Yogi—Paramhansa Yogananda”…and might I add that this may be thee MOST Spiritually compelling and astounding book I have ever read (other than The Bible); and I’m only half way through it. You can almost count on me chatting you up on this one in another post!  

But I have to say that the “do nothing days” TRULY are SO important. Life gets crazy-busy, especially when children step into the picture. How easy it can be to fall into the trap of losing yourselves entirely to your children and busy workload. The time set aside each day…week…and (every now and then) totally away from it all just to reflect and appreciate all you’ve built together is so important.

We were like two kids for four days straight…literally… lounging, drinking, dancing, and I may have done a total of 15 air jumps off the bed of our beach-front hotel room if not more; not to mention a whole lot of other things that married couples who are still in love do :) ---we had a BLAST. We have a twelve year history at this point and I love that we still share that same sexy, spontaneously romantic, emotionally-connected, playful, sarcastic, uncompromised trust and SPARK---which is now even brighter after bringing two beautiful angels into the world. The travails and occasional battles pushing through life hasn’t held us down and I’m so thankful to be married to the man I chose.

After a bittersweet farewell to Mimi and Grandad yesterday morning, who were so gracious to come all the way from Oregon to stay with them…we are back into the swing of things feeling beautifully ordinary and extraordinary once again….