what is a ‘caul’ you’re wondering? i had the same question myself not too long ago and mentioned it briefly in another post sometime back, knowing it was just a matter of time before i’d be writing this one. my angels and Jesus himself have been hitting me hard with a continuous pattern of numbers (144, 133, 333) to which i finally set aside the time to delve into their message. lo and behold, here i begin to write this piece.
and before i go on i must
first say that i am well aware of the diverse readers of these posts and while
i absolutely do not wish to offend anyone, it is nonetheless my
sincerest hope that those of you reading who have come to a crossroad in your
own Spirituality, not sure what you believe or if you’ve ever believed in anything at all---i hope and pray you might
be moved by what i have to say and not because they are my words and “you should
listen to me” but because they resonate and spring forth from your own
inner being and soul’s awareness.
but before we get into all
that, allow me to take you back to the beginnings of my Christian faith to give
you a better idea of my roots. i will say that i am now more certain than ever
that my soul made the choice it made (because
yes, we do get choose) in being born into such a home to inevitably transcend religion
all together….in order to be speaking
these very words to you.
but i am entirely aware
of how that sounds so before you jump the gun
and accuse me of bashing religion and church, hear me out when i say
that i am so thankful to have been
born and raised exactly the way i
was. and even though my Spirituality has undoubtedly evolved outside the walls
of any one building or denomination and steered away from a large portion of
doctrine i was raised on, i am still a
proponent of church, especially for those who have never been exposed to God,
to Christ, and to the Spiritual riches acquired in developing a relationship
with our Creator.
we found a great
non-denominational church (literally) a walk across the street from our new
house and although David and i do not share all the same tenets of faith, i still joyfully go with him and we bring our
girls.
that said, i absolutely
believe that church and/or what is taught from the pulpit as “absolute authority”
on whatever is being preached at the moment (namely interpretations of
Scripture), should be taken as a grain of salt and a mere stepping stone towards a deeper, more personal search and study allowing the Holy Spirit in you to be your only authority on the
Spiritual insight to what is written.
this type of personal
revelation and understanding becomes extraordinarily meaningful when it
happens--because it has little to do
with anyone else’s interpretation, and everything to do with you and the unique insight you may
obtain because of it. when things become revealed to you in a way that allows
you to fully express your inner self and ‘be’ independent of any
affiliated-‘box’, while allowing others to do the same---and without any fear of condemnation in that
relationship, Perfect Love and Acceptance
is the reaping reward.
i was born the “middle
child” on May 10th 1984 in Rochester, NY into the home of what most
would consider “radical” Christians. and let me be clear-- when i use this
word, i don’t use it lightly. in
addition to having people in our home on multiple occasions casting out demonic
spirits from every surface, nook, and cranny of the house, down to our dolls
and toys, we were also not allowed to
celebrate the ‘pagan’ holidays, like my
favorites-- Christmas and Easter. although, i must admit that that only lasted
several years. in time, we got to get our first tree ever and string popcorn and cherries which was
Christmas in and of itself…
and though we never got
to believe in the magical jolly old man, we did inevitably receive gifts too, which, as a child, pretty much made
Christmas the most awesome day
ever—only second to my birthday where it was all about ‘me’. ha! and in
hindsight, i suppose i could make the argument that we were just poor and my
parents couldn’t afford Christmas gifts earlier on, deciding instead to tell us
it was all one big hoax and Jesus didn’t care for Santa Claus, who knows!?
we were the Bible Belt
family and just another faithful ‘Brady Bunch’ in the Jesus Movement. raised by
two loving parents whom in all sincerity at the time, believed they were doing
right by us and most importantly, by God; the scripture: “spare the rod, spoil the child” –they took literally. as loving as they were with us, we were definitely not
spared of that rod; that damn rod which stung like
HELL!!!
depending on the severity
of our childhood ‘crimes’, it would (at times) leave a red mark for DAYS which ‘usually’
did the job. and still on occasion, being the stubborn child i was, some of my
most prominent memories include being restrained by my older sister while my
mom whipped my arse over and over again screaming “I’M DOING THIS CUZ I LOVE YOU!!”, to which,
my five-year-old smart little mouth fired back: “I HAAAAATE YOU!!!!”
oh my poor mother! i’m soooooo not ready to ever hear those words fall off the precious
little lips of my Hannah Banana. i pray
i never do, although there’s simply no
way of knowing for sure at this point in time. i must admit there are definitely
those days when i step back, beside myself, just watching her meltdown in a
tantrum. good Lord the girl is just as stubborn as her momma! i’m counting on
Adelynn being the “good” one. :)
but as a child i loved
church from the get go. i loved everything
about it and wanted to be there all
the time. singing songs in Sunday school. singing on stage in church
performances. i was the only one of four (at that time—years later i’d
have a half-sister) whom my parents didn’t have to drag to church every weekend
kicking and screaming the whole way. i
lived and breathed the joy of it. being in fellowship with others and surrounded
by people who talked about Jesus. at four years old i accepted Jesus into my
heart, though somehow in my vague recollection of things i can remember
wondering: “why do i have to ask him in
my heart if he’s already there?” ….i realize now that even then it didn’t make sense to me.
somewhere around six or seven
years old after watching the ‘Left Behind’
series where the so-called “Rapture” is going to remove all the Christians
from the earth before the Tribulation/Armageddon strikes, and i can remember
going to bed every night wondering if ‘this’ was the night. i know what you’re
wondering too…“why were you watching that
at that age?”….well, it sure as hell (no pun intended) scared the HELL out of my younger brother! night
after night i’d listen to him crying and asking Jesus to come into his heart so
he wouldn’t be left behind. how sad is that?
and as memories like
these surface, i stumble upon my own heavy heart and burden for anyone who
believes this with all sincerity. if you are one of them reading right now,
please know that i mean no disrespect and certainly am not condemning you for
this tenet of your faith. i was forced at one point in time to “accept” it
whether it made sense or not and it was only in time, years later, when i would
first take it upon myself to diligently seek and study all Spiritual tenets of
different faiths alongside the history of the Bible and those books that man deemed ‘heretical’ and excluded
during the canonization of it…it was the first time i’d ever even thought to
not just use my ‘faith’ as it had
been handed down to me, but my intuition and own sense of logic (which
no one in my upbringing handed down
to me).
i
discovered books like ‘The Book of Thomas’
(to name but one) full of the “Secret Teachings of Jesus” and i do believe that
it was discovered exactly when it was, at a time in the Spiritual evolution of
man’s ripened inner awareness.
most importantly, i
learned that the “Rapture” as it was taught to me growing up in the “Left
Behind” movies, was not at all sound doctrine and no such
event would ever take place. which also explained the intuitive conviction that it was intentionally mistranslated for
power and political reasons of the Church.
and finally the freedom
to explore a “whole new world out
there” of Spiritual Treasure Chests just waiting for me to open them had come
after all the binding and constricting chains were broken through endless
prayer and tears. meditating day in and day out on one verse in the Bible, i
found the freedom in God’s Love i so desperately needed.
1 John 4:18 “There is no
fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
while many will explain
away this scripture to meaning “reverent” fear in which case it is
understandable, there still remains the sincere belief that God is a “jealous”
God and some believe he is angered by our disobedience. so much so that He
would send His “only” Son into the world and whoever doesn’t believe in Him will perish in Hell…forever.
this past week my mother
in law and i found ourselves deep in conversation over all these things.
starting almost a year ago, little by little, i have cautiously shared my beliefs with her while she has remained ever-cautiously
suspicious and now openly concerned.
i cannot blame her. and this past week in a conversation a couple nights before
Sunday morning church service, she finally said it:
“i
don’t understand if you ever really had a relationship with Jesus to begin with
if you can turn away from the Truth so easily”. as
the words left her mouth, and the weight of them landed heavy on my chest, i
had to pause and think to myself: “so
this is what my mom must have felt like”
my own mother, after
twenty years of marriage, divorced my dad after having her own inner Awakening
that made a Spiritual Path with him next to impossible to share. and although
as children this caused massive pain and trauma in our lives i only really understood her after coming upon
my own inner awakening.
of course there are many
more pieces to the story of my parent’s divorce and as i always say, there are two sides to every story. they both made
their fair share of mistakes, to which we all suffered, but this post isn’t
about their divorce…and in case you’re wondering, i’ll just come out and say
it. no,
i would never divorce David no matter how far apart our respective Spiritual
Paths take us. do i wish he understood me on this level? absolutely more than
anything! do i hold it against him that he doesn’t? no, not the least bit.
love
doesn’t punish another for their own personal beliefs or
lack thereof….love is patient and kind. LOVE IS GOD AND GOD IS LOVE. though
there is no judgment whatsoever when it comes to divorce and the choices of
others, it is simply not something i forsee in our cards. we share enough on the Spiritual level and an
abundance of so much more in other ways. we didn’t get married too young (my
parents did) and we had many years apart from each other before our paths
reunited. we spread our wings and then flew right back to the same nest. we are
happy. we are best friends. we are in
love.
nonetheless, as i’ve shared
with David and (now) my mother in law as well as other family members at this point in time, God doesn’t have a religion, period.
and any earnest seeker of Him (no matter
what path it lands them on) is more than enough to make His Heart bubble over.
…and so i said to her as
respectfully and kindly as one could:
“i’m
sad that you would believe i don’t have a “real” relationship with Jesus
because it’s not as ‘you’ say it should be after all these years of knowing me”
but before i could go on
any further, she interjected:
“i
just want to understand exactly what you believe and who you’re praying to and
worshiping when you’re at church…God
says ‘thou shalt have no other Gods before me’ and how can you justify
searching out “truth” from all these other sources? God is a JEALOUS God. i
would never even think to look elsewhere when His Word is so clear”
i patiently sympathized
and listened to her burning questions before responding…and while my actual
response was a more or less condensed version of that below, it went something
like this:
“His Word has not been
universally ‘so clear’. all one must do is look at the vast interpretations of those “words” and various
sects of faith as a result. for this reason, i believe above all
things that understanding of
His Word (with regard to the Bible, though i should say that it is still a book written by men) should come from personal revelation through the Spirit first and foremost.
i also believe that i cannot be perfected of the Love within
me while holding onto an image of an angry God. a God who would be “mad” at me for an honest and sincere search for him even if it landed me on an
entirely different Spiritual path of Awareness than the one i was born into--much
more a God who would punish my “disobedience” in eternal hell fire for not
accepting His Son as the “only” son of God. my God is nothing but Loving
Kindness and patient.
it is impossible that His patience could ever
run out on His children. it is literally impossible
that He could turn his Face away from any of us, leaving us to rot in a
state of perpetual darkness indefinitely; all the more eternally. it is impossible because
it not only defies all logic and a plethora of Scripture even in the Bible, it
defies His very Nature of unconditional Love and Patience.
my God sees the finished
product of ‘me’ and my search for Him well before i’ve even lived to make
certain choices. my God sees my past lives, my present life, and my future
lives all on a timeless continuum outside
the confines of this physical 3D realm, in which i am already complete and perfect …so
why would he be angered by my path or by those “sources” that have only led me
to a longing for a more intimate
relationship with him?
my
God,
though like any parent who must allow their children to temporarily suffer the consequences of their mistakes, couldn’t fathom leaving me in a state
of eternal damnation without beckoning me by His love to come out of it and
into His Light, still ever loyal to the free will he bestowed upon me. and Jesus—yes,
i believe
in Jesus and i believe in His Sacred Heart.
He is my Master in the
sense that i am His student and with the utmost reverence, i acknowledge his
selfless sacrifice and am grateful for his death on the cross in absorbing a great
portion of negative karma for this world. and i do believe that “by his blood i am saved” if his blood is a symbol of the Christ
Consciousness that gives Life to all those who drink of it.
i also believe that i am
saved by that same Christ
Consciousness within Buddha, Lord Krishna, the more recent Paramhansa Yoganada
and most importantly my own which is
but a fraction of the larger whole—of
‘The ONE’. yes, i believe in the Law of One and ‘One God’ by which we shall have
no other “gods” before---not even those ‘gods’ of the physical world and all
our attachments to it. i believe in the Divine Trinity of—Mind, Body, and
Spirit within each being in this Universe and the many, many more worlds unseen by the physical eye.
i do believe that Jesus
came (in that particular incarnation) to help raise the-then, very dense collective consciousness of man on earth, perhaps also knowing that it would be
the incarnation in which he received his Ascension. and i do believe that there were indeed (as Scripture tells us) secret teachings given to his disciples
whose state of Conscious-Awareness was ripened for such teachings.
but i don’t believe that Jesus ever intended
on being turned into some graven image to be worshipped and idolized, so much
so that people would forget their own Heaven and Divinity within their
being---and their own need to “work out” the salvation within them balancing all
past karmas toward the progress of their Spiritual Attunement and qualification
for Ascension.
that same Conscious-state
where Jesus declared was not “here
or there” but “within” and in our “midst”--a state of Consciousness within
IS the Kingdom of Heaven and when our Consciousness is stripped of these egos
confined to these bodies of ours, we experience that Heaven within, even while in the body.
i don’t just believe in
the ancient, still timeless Spiritual
Truths throughout the Bible but i believe in
my intuition as it speaks to me today. and i believe in experiences…my own and those of others,
which often times cannot be truly understood by another unless personally
experienced. but that doesn’t mean those experiences are any less valid or real
because you or i haven’t had them.
i believe in the
countless stories of Near Death Experiences such as seeing every life ever lived and
yet to live…such as the very common experience whereby being on the “other side”
is being in the truest nature of the Self as part of the ‘One’ of all things.
i believe that all matter
and all created things are a product of our collective Creative power and
therefore we are all connected. i believe that if God is the uppercase G, we
are the lower-case g’s resting in his
bosom. i also believe in the Science that has discovered consciousness in water
molecules and plants that respond appropriately to images and songs reflecting
a range of different emotions.
i believe in other even more earthly ancient ‘Sons of God’ like Lord Krishna and Gautama Buddha, and
their incredible contributions to the Spiritual evolution of man’s inner
awareness. i believe in all the yogi-Christs past, present, and future whose ‘soul’
purpose in stepping foot on this earth was/is to raise the Collective Conscious Awareness of man. and i believe in every other Spiritual Being that has
walked this earth and has had the privilege of realizing the fullness of
his-her Divinity within.
i believe in the
brotherhood of all Spiritual Beings including myself. i believe that worship
and prayer take on a new form with this Understanding of who i am: “I Am that I AM” as Jesus said—how else could he describe in words that
don’t exist his inner conscious-state of Being? and yes, i have ever-evolved
and continue to with a new understanding of what i was made to do and achieve
in this particular lifetime.
and i believe in
prayer…lots of it! i believe in praying for guidance to any one of my angels and
guides, and brotherhood in the Heavenly Host when i need it— though most often
my prayers are in fact directed to my
Master Jesus.
i believe in Jesus’ own
words when he said “all these things i
do, you will do and greater” (John 14:12). i believe in the countless
stories i’ve read of Yogi-Christs in the East who have the ability to
materialize and dematerialize in the same way in which Jesus did; the ability
to heal, communicate telepathically, walk on water, and manifest virtually anything
they need to sustain their own bodies or those of their disciples and the
faithful seekers of such faith and physical healing.
yes, right out of the
thin air, manifesting anything they
decide; it’s happening today, in this
day and age even as i write these words. and i believe that they too are unified and ‘One’ with their
portion of Christ Consciousness, though they (like Jesus was in his day) may
also face the persecution of non-believers and skeptics alike.
and though i know you
probably won’t, i would strongly encourage you to read “Autobiography of a Yogi” with its countless footnotes in
documented-Scientific and Metaphysical discoveries that have to do with man’s
consciousness; add to that a plethora of Biblical Scripture footnotes. it’s a
Spiritual Treasure Chest of a book and i’m only half way through it. and yes, i
absolutely believe that Jesus was a
yogi!
i believe Jesus when he declared that he was not the
‘only’ Son of God: “I said you are gods,
you are all sons of the Most High”
(Psalm 82:6) … “Jesus answered them: is
it not written in your Law, I said you are “gods”? (John 10:34). and i
believe that “in the Beginning was the
Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God” (John 1:1) the Word,
the Son
was and still is “Christ” the
“Christ Consciousness” which is One in the Same with the Father (Creator)
and the Spirit.
i believe that Jesus was so unified with his own portion of
Christ Consciousness that He could
declare: “I am the Way, the Truth,
and the Life; no man comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6) and
i believe that that portion is each of our Spiritual Birthright and Divinity—it
is God Himself within us. and i
believe that in due time every man that walks this earth will be able to say
the same—“I AM the Way”. as the earliest “Christians” did not call themselves
“Christians”, rather “followers of The
Way”.
the Christ Consciousness
is the Spark of Light that allows us
to sustain these bodies we currently
reside in. and while some possess a very dim spark because they choose to walk
in darkness, others possess a Spark so bright that they cannot remain in the
physical world much longer. we all, nonetheless,
possess the Spark—the ‘portion’ of Christ or we wouldn’t even be breathing this
air.
but we are not our bodies. we are not even our
souls. we are (at our core Spiritual Nature—eternal Consciousness with all
Creative Energy and Power bestowed on us by The Creator Father, Him-Her Self of
all the Universes…. and yes, i do believe that there are unending worlds of
varying degrees of consciousness and life forms of ALL kinds existing in
different realms, playing their own respective role in this massive, collective
production—all as a means to the same end. and i believe in the ‘soul
contracts’ we make with others before entering any one of these worlds including
earth for a period of ‘constructed time’.
i believe it is in that
Christ Consciousness within where we
find the illusion of the physical world and all our attachments to it beginning
to dissipate as the longing and Ultimate Divine Reality within us (again where
Jesus describes Heaven) burns with desire for more…for One-ness with the Father and Oneness
with ‘The One-ness of all Creation’…
all these things…i
so deeply believe.”
i finished by conveying to my dear, sweet, beloved mother in law that her beliefs are
hers and mine are mine and it’s ok that we don’t share the ‘exact same’ Spiritual path. ultimately our hearts are after a deeper
understanding and experienced Love of the same Creator and isn’t
that all that really matters at the end of the day?
while i can sympathize to
the conviction she maintains over guarding her heart and mind of other “sources
of information” weary of where they come from, i relayed to her that i simply
am not ‘her’ with those fears, and while i may seem (to her) to be way too
curious-minded or way out in the leftfield of it all, i know with all intuitive
conviction that i am not. but i
welcome prayer nonetheless….and why
wouldn’t i? who doesn’t need prayer?? to which she responded:
“i
will be praying that you come back to what you believed before all of this..”
me- “now that sure sounds
like your
will for me!”
i chuckled; she did too and we decided to call it a night.
now what i hadn’t shared
with her before, and perhaps on the chance that she is reading this blog she
will know…i had the most vivid dream ever the night before they left.
but before i get into
that let me preface the dream to say that i have been receiving message after
message in double and triple numbers, which happens so regularly at this point
in my life that it’s not a normal day or week if i don’t see a consistent pattern of double
and triple numbers.
in the past i’ve had a
range of different patterns from: 1111, 111, 420, 833, 844, 855, 444, 122, 222,
etc. and as of lately it has been 133, 144 and 333 multiple times in the day/week.
i won’t get into each message other than to say that often times these numbers
will not only appear on the clock but in scriptures, receipts, call logs,
license plates that just so happen to make their way in front of my nose (etc.)
and they always correlate with the issue/thoughts at hand in the moment when
i’m aware of it.
but since this post is
largely about Jesus, i will only address the 333. in numerology (because numbers
indeed carry energies like anything
else) 333 is known as the “Jesus-Connection”
…seeing 333 repeatedly
signals that the Ascended Masters and Angels are all around you ready for you
to leverage their assistance. it is a reminder that they are working with you
on a number of different levels. it is also a sign of your spiritual gifts and
psychic (otherwise) intuitive
perception with a natural ability to perceive beyond the realm of the physical. it’s reassurance on their end that
your gifts are needed to assist humanity on earth.
the number 3 carries the
energy of joy, kindness, psychic ability (third eye), creation and creativity,
personal growth and manifestation of will. the triple three (333) reminds us of
the oneness between Mind, Body, and Spirt and triples the energies of the
individual 3. one might say it is comparable to a loving, encouraging pat on the back from Jesus
himself—along with the host of Ascended Masters.
when i first understood
that this was the message, the dream i had, became entirely placed into
perspective…
when i find the time
every now and then to mediate, doing my best with what little time that is …i
seem to get closer and closer each time, quicker to see the Light of my third
eye expand; violet colors and unique shapes begin to form…until abruptly
disrupted by the beautiful whaling of my little babes waking up from nap. ha!
and while i may be a
little hormonal lately being ‘almost’ that time of the month (TMI) i found
myself pleading in tears one day to experience
‘The Light’ in my dream-state, knowing how difficult it has been to meditate in
my waking state with so much distraction and busy workload, as if that’s a
‘good-enough’ excuse.
sure enough came the
answer to my prayer…
it was so vivid and more real than anything i
could’ve conjured up in my imagination. and while i have had similar lucid dreams
where i can fly effortlessly and move things with my mind, i’ve never quite had
a dream like this.
we were back in time…somewhere though i couldn’t say exactly where-- in a train station of all places. David
was by my side at all times, even when i noticed my mother in law sitting on a
barrel of some sort, he stayed next to me. although not as she looks today— she
was a man in this dream—she still had the same piercing, dark recognizable eyes.
i reached out to her with an open-palmed hand wanting to take her on my
journey, as she/he stared back at me shaking her head with sadness in her
expression.
i can remember the weight
of her fears falling heavy on my chest as though i was one with her. she just
couldn’t understand. i desperately wanted
her to understand but she couldn’t. so i knew in that moment i’d just have to
wait patiently and allow her to get on her own
train cart so to speak.
then suddenly the scene
faded into my body as i began feeling as light as a feather. i knew i hadn’t
‘left’ my body but remained in it, levitated off the ground defying all laws of
gravity. in that moment i knew i was ‘in’ the meditative trance that i had read
about and ‘knew’ within my being i could achieve. it was…indescribable.
as i focused my breath
and awareness on my Spiritual Eye (centered between my physical eyes) in faster
than a millisecond i could ‘will’ myself to see the Light. but if i didn’t stay
focused enough…if my mind began to wander…the light disappeared. nonetheless, i
could just as easily ‘will’ myself back to the breathtaking sights of the
lights when i had regained focus.
starting off as a small,
small spark of light making these beautiful cylindrical movements, it grew and
grew until i had been enveloped in it. it was my pure conscious state—aware at
all times of my body and surroundings, while ever present in the ‘Kingdom
within’ me; my Divine Reality where i was more than capable of doing anything i
wanted, yet all i wanted was to remain Present there in my State of the ‘all’
of all things.
when i woke up from the
dream…i had two realizations. one, my desperate plea had been
answered as 333 once again appeared to me consistently throughout the day. and two
it may not happen in this lifetime,
but inevitably i do believe that my mother in law and i will share the same
Spiritual train cart. nonetheless, our differences need not cause any division and thankfully our love for one another is truly the unconditional love of a mother
and her daughter(in law) that anyone could hope and pray for.
and as i’ve shared with
her, i’ll also share with you that upon discovering the fact that the ‘veil’ my
mother tells me i was born with, is actually called a ‘caul’ and that
individuals such as Jesus, Moses, even Albert Einstein were all born with one—for
the first time, possibly in my whole life, i finally felt… peace within. the “ah ha!” moment like:“oooooh so i’m not totally ‘abnormal’, there’s a reason for this Spiritual obsession and search for the Truth i’ve
carried since i was a child”…
my mother never knew
(until i told her) that the ‘veil’ she only chalked up to me being a “temple
priestess” in another life (likely so) was more than that. and let me preface
before saying any more about it. though it is indeed rare (1 in 800,000 births)
i did not need to discover this in order to feed my ego. i’m no more and no less than anyone else i know. but upon discovering this, a
couple additional things were placed in perspective.
i’ll start with an
incident seven years back (well before i was awakened to my Divine Reality)
back in Austin, TX when i had briefly hit the road (a year and a half away) for
some fresh air far from David. at the time we had gone through a heartbreaking
breakup, knowing our paths were headed in different directions, and i couldn’t
be in the same city, much more state as him. ha!
anyhow, one day my sister
(whom i lived with) asked if i wanted to go to a group healing by a man who
worked solely off of donations and had quite the reputation. ‘Francis the Healer’. he was probably in
his late fifties then. he had a European accent and a presence about him that
can’t be placed into proper words…you just wanted
to remain in his humble,
light-filled aura as long as possible.
he first realized his
gift as a young boy upon discovering that he could heal insects and bugs, and
all sorts of neighborhood animals of their injuries. at four or five, he even
laid hands on his grandma and healed her back. to date he has healed countless
numbers of animals and individuals with a range of ailments from bodily
injuries to cancer and other terminable diseases.
anyhow, i remember being
entirely clueless as to what i had gotten myself into. the group (about 10 of
us) sat in a semi-circle as he instructed us to close our eyes and still our
minds. then one by one he laid his hands on each of our head. it wasn’t until
laying his hands on mine (and i remember feeling such warmth emanating from his
palms to my forehead) he broke his silence.
“what
is your name?”
“Naomi”
“have
i seen you in here before?”
“no”
“you
need to make an appointment to come back for a one on one…” and then ever-so- casually…
“you
can do what i do”
ok, ‘whoa, whoa, whoa’ right?? that was likely the very last thing i expected to hear. and what
‘exactly’ he meant by it—back then, i hadn’t a clue. nor was i in a place in my
life at the time where i would’ve even cared to explore it.
in fact, i regretfully admit that i never did
go back and see him, although as of just four months ago i found his contact
information and emailed him upon having discovered my ‘caul’ just to say that i
had been on quite the Spiritual journey over the past six years “transcending”
religion in general and “i think i
understand now…that you recognized my caul all those years back when i didn’t
even know it myself” before petitioning for distant-Spiritual- healing in
order to prepare myself for whatever lied on the road ahead.
he swiftly responded the
following day:
“i’m
so happy you’ve awakened to your Divine Reality and will do my best to send
healing your way!
~
Love and Blessings”
the ‘caul’ –a thin white
layer of amniotic membrane covering just
the face (more commonly called a ‘veil’) is a caulbirth, not to be confused with being
born ‘en caul’ in which the entire body of the newborn is covered. my mother
tells me that the doctors were shocked by it, though she didn’t make a big a
fuss at the time as she had no idea about its Spiritual significance in my life.
and i do remember being
in the delivery room about to give birth to Hannah (whom btw spoke to me three
months before we conceived her and told me “i chose you”) when her delivery
nurse; a self-proclaimed clairvoyant, told me how rare it was for a human to be
born with the veil. she told me that horses are often born with one (a “horse’s
intuition”) but not humans.
and i learned a great
deal more about the history of caulbearers and why they were considered a
threat to the Power Play of Man…
“…Many are great natural
healers, which trait may be manifested by the laying on of their hands, or
remotely from a distance. Many are considered to have great ability in matters
of judgment and ruling nations and often possess insights which are difficult
to appreciate by other people.
In many cultures the
Caulbearers were considered to be “Kings by right,” due to the predictive
nature of their births and their leadership abilities. This is one of the
reasons why certain Buddhist groups, to this very day seek out Caulbearers to
be brought up to become Dalai Lamas.
Throughout history the
powers that be have repeatedly attempted to destroy the Caulbearers because
they were seen to be messengers sent by a higher force to guide mankind in
matters both physical and of a higher spiritual nature. In ancient times they
were held in high regard for their knowledge in a wide range of disciplines,
and therefore became known as 'priests' which originally simply meant
'teacher.' This was long before the notion of the religious priest was ever
conceived…”
i share all this not to
‘toot my own horn’ but to give some small credence to the feeling i have inside
that Jesus also experienced these same longings---and bore through the dissonance
and skepticism from those closest to him (his own family) who refused to
believe in him. and while i do not even attempt to place myself on the same
scale as He, My Master, it is such a comforting and reassuring discovery to
know that he dealt with so much of the same inner turmoil over the compelling
need to free people from binding beliefs and customs.
he came to dispel the
notion that God is outside ourselves! he rebuked the religious Pharisees (who
were no fans of his) for acting as a stumbling block and medium between God and
man.
and while it is my
sincerest hope to serve humanity in all the ways my soul came in with such a
drive to do….acting as a ‘messenger’ above all else, i am in no position to
ever do it by force. i am entirely Aware to the fact that we are all on our own
respective paths with people in our lives who think and believe very differently
from us.
it doesn’t make them
wrong, as much as it doesn’t make us “right”….these words in fact are
‘relative’ words when considering this world as the ‘illusion’ or ‘Maya’ as
Buddhists call it, that it is. this physical world was not made to entrap us
and yet so many of us are.
if there is anything i
hope you can take away from this post…it is, the very least…that we ought to
embrace our differences in life. to Love each other wholeheartedly and unconditionally
as we are loved by the Source of Creation itself within us. and we ought not
ever place ourselves as ‘judge’ over another.
i can only imagine that
if i didn’t share these Spiritual burnings within me every now and then, people
might assume that (other than a devoted mom and wife) i am just a “party girl”
who likes to drink, get wild, and have fun with friends…and yet, even when i am
doing those things, these truths burn within me and are compelled to come out.
in my twenties, when i’d
be out at any given bar or club with friends, they would (by the end of the
night) tease me for being engulfed in ‘drunk’ Spiritual talk with perfect
strangers all night long as we’d laugh about it later…the point is, no matter
where we are or what we are doing, when we are operating from the Truth within
us, we cannot be on the “wrong” path. and even if someone else decides that you
are on the “wrong” path, rest assure that yours and theirs will inevitably find
a new bridge to pass…a new crossroad to choose from.
for that reason we must
always respect each other for where we are in our Journey, as the Divine Beings
that each one of us are…no one being greater than another, rather, merely
playing their respective chosen role in the grander scheme of the whole
picture.
Love and unconditional
acceptance is Light and the most powerful Energy to raise the earth and all its
inhabitants into the Ascension of ‘The Golden Age’….we have only just begun to
see the beauty of it.
may you be blessed in an
abundance of Light & Love...
sincerely yours,
Naomi
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