ever
wonder what other stay at home mamas are up to on a regular basis? i sure do,
so tonight i’m gonna bring you into a day in our world~now that my babes are
tucked away and off in ‘Unicorns & RainbowLand’
typically
on a Monday, my sweet little banana would be at daycare while i’d be running
around most of the day and tackling the usual—groceries, Home Goods, laundry and
cleaning, one-on-one time with the baby, a little down time to read, nap, or
write (etc.) but today--my sweet little, snot faced, itchy eyed nugget was home
sick…on the road to recovery and doing much better. nonetheless, not her usual
energetic self.
both
girls got their checkups with our family doctor a few days ago when it started
with the runny nose and mild fever turn cough. of course i was hoping and
praying it wasn’t anything like strep or croup; thank God it wasn’t... needless
to say we’ve just been on quarantine at home until all are healthy again, and i should fill you in here that we've also been on a fairly strict “Monday thru Friday- NO media” rule for two and a
half months now with Hannah.
in
fact, coming back to Facebook (at this
point in time) is also coming with strict boundaries i must place on myself,
otherwise…well do i even need to say? FB is such a twisted love affair for me
which is why every now and then, i find myself itching to unplug before i turn into an obsessive compulsive media whore…not really a whore…but good, Lord does it
make me feel like one at times! plain and simply—it’s an addiction…if i let it be...so why might that be?
well, allow me to take you back to the ‘O-M-G’ moment with this decision that
hit me like a ton of bricks…
it
was 3 am in the middle of the night as we were startled awake to Hannah
SCREAMING bloody murder for her “i-PAaaaaaaaaD!!!!!!”
---but, before you start judging, let me set the record straight to say that we
never 'thought' we were very liberal with her iPad time in the first place…buuuuut
…according to an article my mother in law read, children have twice the levels
of dopamine receptors (i.e. pleasure) from watching media than we do and i
guess at this point that hadn’t come as much of a surprise.
anyhow, in
that moment as my heart sank into my chest realizing she was ‘temper-tantrum-dreaming’
on a scale that made even my jaw drop, i couldn’t help but reflect on my own ‘need’
for media…and that was all it took…one moment.
after
caressing her back to sleep with a book and a back rub, i got back in bed and
was wide awake. and like clockwork, not even a few minutes into laying there and somehow mindlessly
about to reach for my iPhone to get on Facebook—as if having momentary amnesia
to what i had literally just decided—when a voice out of nowhere dropped into
my head—“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
and then it dawned on me that my body was just doing what it does, what i had trained it to do. reaching for my phone to tap that blue icon with the white 'f'' on it had become as natural as breathing.
and then it dawned on me that my body was just doing what it does, what i had trained it to do. reaching for my phone to tap that blue icon with the white 'f'' on it had become as natural as breathing.
of
course, i put my phone back down and picked up the book i had gotten half way
through ‘A Little Bit of Buddha’ and ended up doing mantras in my head until
falling asleep again.
the next morning (a Saturday) i sat up in bed (hub was already awake) and in a blank daze, still somewhat in shock from Hannah’s outburst, i looked him in the eyes and said: “that’s it. no more media during the week”. he agreed.
the next morning (a Saturday) i sat up in bed (hub was already awake) and in a blank daze, still somewhat in shock from Hannah’s outburst, i looked him in the eyes and said: “that’s it. no more media during the week”. he agreed.
well, initially at least—as in the first couple days. ...just a couple days into the week and his tune changed just as soon as he’d get home from work and Hannah was all over him with her typical whiny
ways. the first thing out of his mouth: “you want your iPad” or “you
wanna watch Caillou?” as i’d turn to him
with ‘the look’….you know, that one.
“oh come on! let the poor kid watch a little
TV” ….
“or you can, ummmidunno, maybe play with the “poor” kid you haven’t
seen all day?”….and that’s when another thing dawned on me—my husband (though
not with FB) was just as addicted to
his own media as the rest of us.
within the rest of that first initial week implementing the rule with my iron foot, i realized that Hannah wasn’t even asking for her iPad or Caillou anymore…and yet there were still at least two more evenings that week when i had to ‘scold’ David—lovingly of course—“don’t ask her if she wants it”
so what is it about these realizations that come in life…these moments of clarity where you feel so certain about the next move you need to make; a move that is right for you and for your family, even if it’s not for others? those moments where we can commit to something with all fierceness and then just as easily blink and fall back into the same old habitual ways?
for me, Facebook was turning into a love-hate, rollercoaster, relationship—like a Catch22. as much as i loved scrolling through my newsfeed to the singing dogs and cats on potties, and of course—all of my friends adorable children, which is the true 'L-o-v-e’ part, it was, on a regular-basis (mindlessly) consuming so much of my energy. mindlessly because that’s exactly what it was…an app on my phone that i’d jump on EVERY time i’d be just a little bored, or just a little curious as to what the rest of the world was up to.
within the rest of that first initial week implementing the rule with my iron foot, i realized that Hannah wasn’t even asking for her iPad or Caillou anymore…and yet there were still at least two more evenings that week when i had to ‘scold’ David—lovingly of course—“don’t ask her if she wants it”
so what is it about these realizations that come in life…these moments of clarity where you feel so certain about the next move you need to make; a move that is right for you and for your family, even if it’s not for others? those moments where we can commit to something with all fierceness and then just as easily blink and fall back into the same old habitual ways?
for me, Facebook was turning into a love-hate, rollercoaster, relationship—like a Catch22. as much as i loved scrolling through my newsfeed to the singing dogs and cats on potties, and of course—all of my friends adorable children, which is the true 'L-o-v-e’ part, it was, on a regular-basis (mindlessly) consuming so much of my energy. mindlessly because that’s exactly what it was…an app on my phone that i’d jump on EVERY time i’d be just a little bored, or just a little curious as to what the rest of the world was up to.
of
course having two young ones never permitted me to stay on for long periods of
time in any “one-serving” of it, but even jumping on throughout the day
(staring at my phone) did not get past my bright little toddler. how could i be
totally present with her if i was so focused on everyone else? it was me…it was
totally me. i was the problem. not her.
so
i suppose it should’ve come as no surprise to listen to hub’s defense this past
Thursday: “i read an article that said when your kids are sick, let them watch
TV to get them to rest” –to which i only raised an eyebrow slightly before caving in deciding that some battles aren’t worth
fighting. and like i really wanna be the ‘bad guy’ Mr. Scrooge-- when my babies are sick.
sooooo little miss got a few ‘extra’ doses of media Thursday on through the weekend…but by Sunday i had the moment of clarity again…how EASY it is to fall back into the same pattern. “but not today” i decided this morning. we were back on the wagon, and you know what? we are all better today for it!
i realize that when we spend true quality time together without mindless distractions—even if it is a long day on ‘quarantine at home’, i am most satisfied and fulfilled as mother when i am present in every moment with them, challenging as it may be at times. it is what gives my ‘job’ the type of purpose it does and my heart the truest satisfaction. God gave them to me to enjoy them, even through whining, the snott, the tears and tantrums. to love them with all my heart and to give them the priority they deserve on my list always.
and who am i kidding? with two kids, a move, and a remodel over the last couple months, who has time for Facebook? but things are finally feeling normal again, and it couldn’t feel any fuzzier inside than it does right now.
so about that ‘day in our world’ …if you didn’t know already, we are HUGE fans of art and nature so today was about combining the two. the morning started with some soup followed by play in the backyard, then a hunt for the perfect pieces of nature for our “earth masquerade mask”.
one thing i love about the new house is having a room devoted to music and art, add to that dance and yoga, just as soon as the flooring goes in— and when it comes to getting messy, Hannah has two obsessions: finger paint & glue. but hey, don’t all toddlers? and we couldn’t have been happier with the turnout of our project! not to mention that if we’re ever in the jungle needing a good camouflage, we’ll be prepared!
after lunch, naps were duly needed and i was counting all my lucky stars that both girls went down at the same time, for the same amount of time as if the heavens opened up on me and said “i got-chya’” …this NEVER HAPPENS! and so i had two options: ‘take a nap’ or ‘workout’ ….i know, i know what you’re thinking “NAP!!” ….i did too until i remembered i’ll be in a bikini in Palm Beach in just a few weeks and back to those “moments of clarity and commitment” i had sworn that i would finally discipline myself again into getting in shape “as soon as we move and are settled in” …and now that we are, i realize i have no more excuses.
but HOLYCOW does it feel painfully good to have finally jumpstarted a workout (dvd) once again after close to a year of hiatus....every muscle is so sore and i’m loving it!
then once the girls were up we spent some time playing “monkeys on momma’s bed” and then back to the backyard to look for more bugs once that game got old. by 4pm Adelynn was way past due for another nap so just as soon as she was down, i got to give my little banana some one-on-one love as we played quietly in her room where i couldn’t help but just stare at her imagining all the things going on her little head.
then out of nowhere “mommy, cuzzi…cuzzi in mommy’s tub” as i commended her on the “fabulous idea”. i’ve taken baths with her since she was a baby. i remember some of my favorite moments were nursing her in the tub. that skin to skin that’s like euphoria as a new mom. jets were on and we were so busy enjoying the bubbles that we didn’t even notice that daddy was home from work until he came walking in on us, laughing at the scene…the usual dinner/bedtime routine followed…
annnnnd here i sit, capping off the day with a blog.
there were tears and typical baby and toddler tantrums today but all in all, the perfect day. we were all in it together. through the range of emotions we scale on a daily basis, i love the feeling that comes with knowing i was not only there physically to handle them, but mentally ‘present’ in them. unmoved, unwavering in my own patience today (by God’s Grace) another day down…and the rest of our lives to go, building memories in our new home---simply blessed.
sooooo little miss got a few ‘extra’ doses of media Thursday on through the weekend…but by Sunday i had the moment of clarity again…how EASY it is to fall back into the same pattern. “but not today” i decided this morning. we were back on the wagon, and you know what? we are all better today for it!
i realize that when we spend true quality time together without mindless distractions—even if it is a long day on ‘quarantine at home’, i am most satisfied and fulfilled as mother when i am present in every moment with them, challenging as it may be at times. it is what gives my ‘job’ the type of purpose it does and my heart the truest satisfaction. God gave them to me to enjoy them, even through whining, the snott, the tears and tantrums. to love them with all my heart and to give them the priority they deserve on my list always.
and who am i kidding? with two kids, a move, and a remodel over the last couple months, who has time for Facebook? but things are finally feeling normal again, and it couldn’t feel any fuzzier inside than it does right now.
so about that ‘day in our world’ …if you didn’t know already, we are HUGE fans of art and nature so today was about combining the two. the morning started with some soup followed by play in the backyard, then a hunt for the perfect pieces of nature for our “earth masquerade mask”.
one thing i love about the new house is having a room devoted to music and art, add to that dance and yoga, just as soon as the flooring goes in— and when it comes to getting messy, Hannah has two obsessions: finger paint & glue. but hey, don’t all toddlers? and we couldn’t have been happier with the turnout of our project! not to mention that if we’re ever in the jungle needing a good camouflage, we’ll be prepared!
after lunch, naps were duly needed and i was counting all my lucky stars that both girls went down at the same time, for the same amount of time as if the heavens opened up on me and said “i got-chya’” …this NEVER HAPPENS! and so i had two options: ‘take a nap’ or ‘workout’ ….i know, i know what you’re thinking “NAP!!” ….i did too until i remembered i’ll be in a bikini in Palm Beach in just a few weeks and back to those “moments of clarity and commitment” i had sworn that i would finally discipline myself again into getting in shape “as soon as we move and are settled in” …and now that we are, i realize i have no more excuses.
but HOLYCOW does it feel painfully good to have finally jumpstarted a workout (dvd) once again after close to a year of hiatus....every muscle is so sore and i’m loving it!
then once the girls were up we spent some time playing “monkeys on momma’s bed” and then back to the backyard to look for more bugs once that game got old. by 4pm Adelynn was way past due for another nap so just as soon as she was down, i got to give my little banana some one-on-one love as we played quietly in her room where i couldn’t help but just stare at her imagining all the things going on her little head.
then out of nowhere “mommy, cuzzi…cuzzi in mommy’s tub” as i commended her on the “fabulous idea”. i’ve taken baths with her since she was a baby. i remember some of my favorite moments were nursing her in the tub. that skin to skin that’s like euphoria as a new mom. jets were on and we were so busy enjoying the bubbles that we didn’t even notice that daddy was home from work until he came walking in on us, laughing at the scene…the usual dinner/bedtime routine followed…
annnnnd here i sit, capping off the day with a blog.
there were tears and typical baby and toddler tantrums today but all in all, the perfect day. we were all in it together. through the range of emotions we scale on a daily basis, i love the feeling that comes with knowing i was not only there physically to handle them, but mentally ‘present’ in them. unmoved, unwavering in my own patience today (by God’s Grace) another day down…and the rest of our lives to go, building memories in our new home---simply blessed.
